CW: mental health
So it’s been a hodge podge of stuff. I’ve been struggling…but still trying. I finally rubbed two brain cells together and realised that if I’m sick of walking outside, I do have work out videos I like on You Tube. I have done a few now, so that’s better than nothing. We also need to get my treadmill fixed. A cat broke the plug so we have to change the plug.
Let’s see…so there’s the walking bit. OH! Ok. So I was moaning about how “regular” things of medical fall to the wayside due to Covid, and then after my eating disorder assessment last week, she really got the ball rolling. ROLLING. FAST. Suddenly I had blood tests, and an ECG (British for EKG), and a referral to a mental health team.
The weirdest thing about the mental health team referral is I received the phone call at 19:30 on Sunday night. !?! Anyway. The gentleman was nice but had a thick accent, and I am not…well, it’s difficult for me to process hearing. Especially without the advantage of getting to lip read. (Which is something else in this Covid world. You got people behind plexi-glass and masks…and sorry? What did you say? Pardon? Repeat that? *sigh*)
Right. So we shall see where this may lead. It sounds like they might at least find me some talk therapy. The therapy I mentioned from previous posts felt like it was offered as the be-all, end-all. As in go here and you’ll be cured, and also, if this doesn’t help you well, you are probably beyond help. Urgh. It can be difficult trying to explain without diving into real specifics and whatnot. I’m trying to remain general specifics here. Ha.
In the assessment for mental health last night, I did tell him why I didn’t think the previous therapy didn’t work. So that felt kinda good. To speak out and say Hey. This didn’t work, and this is why. Instead of feeling like a complete failure, like it was all your fault it didn’t work. I don’t know. Again, hard to explain well without lots of details.
So. Random stuff. I went for my ECG today and then hopped over to the supermarket afterwards (walking ((hopping)) distance) to buy some food stuffs. I also bought a word search puzzle book. I know I have a few around here but I’m not sure exactly where they are and it’s difficult to muster up energy to look when you’re depressed so I just effing bought a new one. £2.10 isn’t exactly breaking the bank anyway. I’ve already done a few of the puzzles. Word searches………..are not terribly mentally taxing or stimulating, but when you’re low on focus and mental energy due to depression, it’s something.
I think that’s about it right now. Going to get the vacuum out and clean up these crumbs in the lounge. (As the British say, I will do the hoovering.)